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Musical Movie Monstrosities


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Let’s face it, when certain things lose their luster it might be time to just throw them out.

For example, the Academy Award for best original song in a motion picture, or whatever they call it.

Every year some horrid song competes against mostly other horrid songs, that sound like they were written by people who are tone deaf. Oh, sure there is the occasional throwback, which one can actually remember and hum, but in general the list of nominees annually keeps proving the lack of talent that now subsists in Hollywood, or even outside its gates. Now I will admit that perhaps there is talent that Tinseltown honchos just refuse to recognize or hire, but that’s another story.

Let’s go through some stats. Here are some titles of songs, which were considered the best of the bunch [please don’t send me the losers' cd’s for I have a low threshhold for pain] for the 2000’s and before: Lose Yourself, Into the West, It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp, I Need to Wake Up [thanks I’d prefer to stick with my narcolepsy], Jai Ho, Man or Muppet, When You Believe, A Whole New World, and Let the River Run.

Really? This is the best of the whole year of all candidates?

Oh sure, we had the theme from Titanic earlier and The Little Mermaid, but as far back as 1967 people had to suffer through songs like Talk to the Animals from Doctor Dolittle which was the beginning of the end. Now in a shocking twist from mostly high-toned songs, the Theme from Shaft was actually quite innovative and worth the win, but in general things have been going downhill since 1967, and I say retire this worn out warhorse from active duty and put the song category out to pasture.

Compare the above mostly non-memorable songs, to previous winners in the 1930’s through the 1950’s. Even many of the songs that were losers in those years stand head and tails above the claptrap atrocities that now are showcase at Oscar time. In the 1930’s we start with The Continental, Lullaby of Broadway, The Way You Look Tonight, Thanks for the Memories, Over the Rainbow and move on in the 1940’s to When You Wish Upon a Star, White Christmas, Swinging on a Star, On the Atchison, Topeka and the Sante Fe, Zip-a-Dee Do Dah, Buttons and Bows, Baby It’s Cold Outside and in the 1950’s we find more classics like Mona Lisa, In the Cool, Cool, Cool of the Evening, High Noon theme, Secret Love, Three Coins in the Fountain [ get this the loser was The Man That Got Away by Judy G.], Que Sera Sera, All the Way, Gigi, and High Hopes.

I rest my case. Why give awards when nothing is really worthy of an award? Seems ridiculous honoring such mediocre and less than talented songwriting neophytes. At least when people like Cole Porter, Gershwin, Johnny Mercer, Hoagy Carmichael, Kern, and so many others were around the tunes were actually clever and evocative and are still stuck in one’s memory after one hearing in a film. So…agree or not agree? And if you wrote one of the above songs from the latter years, please go back to Julliard and take a refresher course.

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DOCTOR DOLITTLE: the only reason that esperpento=mess was in the running for Best Picture of 1967 was because it was the only family movie available. No plot, no acting, no music: it was the beginning of a very lean starving period for family movies. (very disgusted emoticon)

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