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Bathroom humor!


Sepiatone
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Naw, not jokes about bodily functions or passing gas or other type jokes that crack up kindergarteners and beer drinkers( heh!)

 

I mean some of the sometimes clever and cute scribblings found in public restrooms.  But mostly the ones that do better than that tired old standby-----

 

"Here I sit, Broken hearted..."(etc., etc.)

 

I've seen a few in my lifetime I thought were pretty good.  Good enough in a couple of cases to recall them here 49 years later!

 

The first two were seen over the urinals in the restroom in the JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT building when I was in high school in the year 1966.  The last one was seen in a restroom in the Cadillac assembly plant I worked in around 1975.

 

1.  "While you're reading this you're p!ssing on your foot."

 

2.  "Napoleon stood here and blew his Bonaparte!"

 

3. "Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal.  They get soggy and hard to light."

 

Just as well....none of them PHONE NUMBERS ever led to anything much...

 

 

 

Sepiatone

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Funny thing is(though NOT surprising) is that I start a thread trying to get others to share any humorous scribblings THEY may have seen in a public restroom(like at school, or work or whatever) , and I find photos of URINALS.

 

Either my English ISN'T as plain and straightforward as I thought, or some people have trouble READING plain English.  I dunno.....

 

DGF:  Often, my urge to u r i n a t e is too strong to be able to wait as long as it would take me to clean the seat of a public restroom toilet to where I'd be willing to SIT on it!  :)

 

 

Sepiatone

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I myself never use urinals when there is a stall available. I'd rather sit down. There's less risk of p***ing all over myself.

 

WAIT, DGF! I always thought you were a DUDE???!!!!

 

(...and I ain't talkin' about the Jeff Bridges/The Big Lebowski kind'a "dude" here...just a "dude" in the general sense...have I been mistaken all these years???)

 

;)

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WAIT, DGF! I always thought you were a DUDE???!!!!

 

(...and I ain't talkin' about the Jeff Bridges/The Big Lebowski kind'a "dude" here...just a "dude" in the general sense...have I been mistaken all these years???)

 

;)

If there's a stray hair on your ****, chances are that the **** will come out at an angle, thus causing the aforementioned problem.

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Our local restaurant, Dinosaur BBQ (with a location in Harlem) has the best bathroom wall writings ever. They published their cookbook with some of the scribblings from the bathrooms written in the margins:

 

"When life gives you lemons....add vodka"

 

"Sex is like pizza; when it's good it's really really good & when it's bad, it's still ok"

 

"What's the difference between men & government bonds? Bonds mature"

and the counter-

"Nothing's more expensive than a women who's "free" for the evening"

 

Dinosaur BBQ: "no black, no white, just blues"

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If there's a stray hair on your ****, chances are that the **** will come out at an angle, thus causing the aforementioned problem.

 

Well, there's the Internet for you. It takes 50,000 posts to finally know someone. (or some seemingly important details, like gender). Maybe will still know nothing and are instead victims of an antic SOH.

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Funny thing is(though NOT surprising) is that I start a thread trying to get others to share any humorous scribblings THEY may have seen in a public restroom(like at school, or work or whatever) , and I find photos of URINALS.

 

Either my English ISN'T as plain and straightforward as I thought, or some people have trouble READING plain English.  I dunno.....

 

DGF:  Often, my urge to u r i n a t e is too strong to be able to wait as long as it would take me to clean the seat of a public restroom toilet to where I'd be willing to SIT on it!  :)

 

 

Sepiatone

 

What very little I have seen would be deleted by the moderators, so I'm left with the humorous bathroom amenities. :)

 

(the custodians of course don't find it humorous to remove magic marker scribblings) :angry:

 

thanks-for-not-writing-on-the-wall.jpg

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The most recent public restroom funny I can add is one I SAID, and wasn't written down....

 

I was at the Greektown casino one night and went to use the restroom.  As all the urinals were taken but one, and it was the "handicapped" urinal.  Those units are placed on the wall in a lower position that normally, and the one I was using was placed REAL low.  As I stood there doing my thing, I mused to the guy at the next one, "man.  Look how LOW this urinal is set.  Gives me more credit than I'm due!"  :D

 

 

Sepiatone

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The most recent public restroom funny I can add is one I SAID, and wasn't written down....

 

I was at the Greektown casino one night and went to use the restroom.  As all the urinals were taken but one, and it was the "handicapped" urinal.  Those units are placed on the wall in a lower position that normally, and the one I was using was placed REAL low.  As I stood there doing my thing, I mused to the guy at the next one, "man.  Look how LOW this urinal is set.  Gives me more credit than I'm due!"  :D

 

 

Sepiatone

And how did Mr. Craig respond to that?

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I'm in London at the moment and had lunch with a friend today, at a Greek restaurant in Fulham. She was going on about how bad the EU is for the UK. I had to go to the loo -- I couldn't resist taking a photo of the loo door, to show my friend. Keep in mind that the restaurant is Greek and who the lady on the door is, and how the Greeks feel about her. And how perfect for this thread!

post-12643-0-97159100-1448060573_thumb.jpg

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The most recent public restroom funny I can add is one I SAID, and wasn't written down....

 

I was at the Greektown casino one night and went to use the restroom.  As all the urinals were taken but one, and it was the "handicapped" urinal.  Those units are placed on the wall in a lower position that normally, and the one I was using was placed REAL low.  As I stood there doing my thing, I mused to the guy at the next one, "man.  Look how LOW this urinal is set.  Gives me more credit than I'm due!"  :D

 

 

Sepiatone

 

HEY now, Sepia! Whatever happened to that old..ahem.."golden" rule (yeah, pun intended here) part of standard men's room etiquette?...

 

"EYES FORWARD AND NO TALKING"!!! 

 

;)

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And how did Mr. Craig respond to that?

#1(meant as NUMBER one(and with NO PUN intended) and NOT that stupid "hashtag" idiocy)

 

Everybody there who heard it chuckled a bit.

 

"Eyes forward and NO TALKING" is only for the ignorantly homophobic( which I know, putting "ignorantly" AND "homophobic" together IS a redundance).

 

But why not take your fun where you find it?

 

Like in another instance, I rushed into the restroom at the plant one time, and after finishing my "business" gave out a loud sigh and said, "Nothing left but the VINEGAR!"  That too, got a good laugh.

 

 

Sepiatone

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You won't think it's such a doozy when you find yourself with wet pants.

 

The post was unusual, perhaps memorably so, which was in answer to your question to me. Doozy means unusual (no judgement there, you have to modify if you want to get into 'good' or 'bad'). The details of the post are not under discussion (despite being on topic) for me anyway. I admire your attempt to be funny though.

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The only 'memorable' humour that I have seen was a label done so very professionally that it would be easy to overlook it as simply a manufacturer's label: it was on the toilet tissue holder and it stated: "Liberal Arts Degree Dispenser."

 

Novelty toilet paper

 

 

51EoAxUcJaL.jpg

funny-toilet-papers02.jpg

1040-funny-toilet-paper.jpg

funny-toilet-paper-1-W630.jpg

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There is solid gold toilet paper:

http://www.toiletpaper.com.au/24-carat-gold-toilet-paper-1-roll/

 

"This is the most expensive toilet paper roll in the world. A Quality 3ply toilet paper with 24 carat gold through the roll. As you use the toilet paper 24 carat gold flakes will fall onto the floor and your behind taking you to another level of sophistication."

 

It is: 1,376,900.00. I do not know the currency. It is made in Australia.

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There is solid gold toilet paper:

http://www.toiletpaper.com.au/24-carat-gold-toilet-paper-1-roll/

 

"This is the most expensive toilet paper roll in the world. A Quality 3ply toilet paper with 24 carat gold through the roll. As you use the toilet paper 24 carat gold flakes will fall onto the floor and your behind taking you to another level of sophistication."

 

It is: 1,376,900.00. I do not know the currency. It is made in Australia.

 

Makes sense.

 

A product MADE Down Under, FOR your..ahem.."down-under".

 

(...yeah Sans, this one WAS too easy, wasn't it) ;)

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