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Katie, Katie, Katie the Kangaroo.

She wanted to live in a private house

And ran away from the zoo.

 

She looked for a job in the neighborhood.

A mother said "What do you do?"

"I'll sit with your baby when you go out,

And take good care of him too."

"Ooh. A sitter is just what I'm looking for.

But tell me, who are you?"

"I'm Katie, I'm Katie, an animal lady.

I'm Katie the Kangaroo!"

 

(And that's just the first verse.)

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Sorry Rocky, but I'm on vacation -- I don't want to hear the word "melancholy."

How about:

 

I was down in Savannah, eatin' cream and banana,

When the heat just made me faint.

I began to get cross-eyed, I thought I was lost.

I'd begun to see things as they ain't.

As the relatives gathered, to see what's the matter,

The doctor came to see was I dyin'.

But the doctor said "Give him jug band music.

It seems to make him feel just fine."

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With three cheers for Debbie Reynolds and Carlton Carpenter:

 

Way down in the congo land sitting in a coconut tree,

there was a monkey and a chimp--and Lordy how she loved him.

Everynight in the pale moonlight sitting in the coconut tree,

these love words she always said to he...

 

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"

said the monkey to the chimp.

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"

said the chimpee to the monk.

All night long they chattered away.

All day long they were happy and gay,

swinging and swaying in a ****, tonky way.

 

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"

said the chimp, "I love but you."

Abba dabba dabba in monkey talk means

"Chimp, I love you too."

Then the ol' baboon, one night in June,

married them and very soon,

they sailed away on an abba dabba honeymoon.

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> What if it snowed in San Francisco?

 

Oh - don't get me started . . . .

 

In San Francisco town there lived a whale.

She ate porkchops by the pail;

By the pillbox, by the suitcase, by the bathtub, by the schooner.

Her name was Sarah, and she's a peach,

But you can't leave food within her reach;

Nor nursemaids, nor airedales,

Nor chocolate ice cream sodas.

She eats a lot, but when she smiles

You can see her teeth for miles and miles;

And her adenoids, and her spare ribs,

And things too fierce to mention.

So, what can you do in a case like that?

What can you do but sit on your hat;

Or your toothbrush, or your grandmother,

Or anything else that's helpless.

 

Holy mackerel, I remembered it all! With heartfelt thanks for the memories to Burl Ives.

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> "We don't have smog here [Los Angeles].

> Some brown air, but not smog."

 

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

--Kin Hubbard

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Hello, All,

 

Someone on the Genre postings mentioned the Three Stooges' "Swingin' the Alphabet." Those lyrics bear repeating:

 

BA bay

BE bee

BI bicky-bye

BO boh - BU bu

Bicky bye bo bu.

 

CA cay [soft "c"]

CE cee

CI cicky-cye

CO coh - CU cu

Cicky cye co cu.

 

DA day

DE dee

DI dicky-dye

DO doh - DU du

Dicky dye doh du.

 

And so on.

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Anne,

 

I found it on a website, so I can't take credit for its creation. Someone probably videotaped a kitten getting up from the floor, and then cut-and-pasted portions of the video frames to create the illusion of a kitten doing push-ups. It may even have required some computer animation for the legs to move that smoothly. The other possibility is that it was created entirely with computer animation, which would be even more impressive.

 

DavidE

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  • 2 weeks later...

A scientist interested in all things avian became obsessed with the ways in which seagull biology interacted with that of other mammalian physiology. This rather strange-minded individual found that by feeding live seagulls to porpoises he could make the fishlike mammals live forever. When he was out collecting more seagulls for his nonenvironmentally sound experiments, a lion escaped from the local zoo and took up residence in his driveway. Upon returning and finding the lion rather docile, the scientist jumped over the lion (bearing his cage of soon-to-be-porpoise-food) with the intent of proceeding to his laboratory. A police officer happening by witnessed this and immediately arrested the scientist. The charge: Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

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