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A lady died after a long illness when she got to heaven St. Peter was there and she said Wow I'm in heaven! what do have to do to get in. He says spell love and she says that's easy and she does so and she's in Heaven. A few months go by and Peter comes looking for her and says I need to be away from the gate for awhile will you watch it for me. Sure she says and she thinks boy what a privelage. Her husband comes to the gate and she says well I didn't expect to see you so soon-tell me what have you been doing? Well, he says that big ol house of ours I sold it and bought a new home in Hawaii and you remember that little nurse that took care of you? well I married her and I took up new hobbies like water skiing which I was doing when I had my heart attack which brought me here. He says what do you have to do to get in here. She says spell a word. So he says what's the word and the wife says Czlesvokia.

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Our Alberta Premier, Ralph Klein, a real buffoon, is visiting Washington this week.

He met with Vice President Dick Chaney and after the handshake, Chaney asked Klein, "Do you hunt?!!"...



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I was watching about the Presidents on the History channel and with the first Mr. Bush and when they of course got to present president Bush and there was Cheney with the both of them. Now I expected it with 2nd Bush since he is the VP but he was everywhere with the first Mr. Bush just a younger version.....

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OK! Pull over!


What's the big idea of trying to make a point. Didn't you see the "Pointless Thread" sign back there?


I'll let you off with just a warning this time, but remember to keep it below the logic limit, buddy.


Move along, now.

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So, this guy walks into this surrealist bar and disgraceful lovely sandpiper illustrious philosophical castaway take no playsuit do my convulsion for start or rubbish vinegar leave my indenture lodging to fall no knife pointsman ceremonious sustain associative timekeeper change the turgid prostitute brain chianti top hat mortifying veneer ellipsis insanity black hole embowel detonator...


[an excerpt from my actual collection of junk e-mail subject lines...]

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