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Movie cliches


benwhowell
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What are your favorite movie cliches? One of my favorites is the "caught in a storm" cliche (found in most Disney animated movies)-characters are traveling (home?)-a storm occurs-luckily, there's an abandoned building to take shelter for the night-this enables the characters to learn much more about each other...I fantasize about being in a situation such as this-especially if the abandoned building has a (stocked) wine cellar...

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If it?s an Arabian adventure film, with an American hero and one American woman along on a safari, count on her finding a scorpion in her clothes when she starts to get dressed. Count on a big dust storm. Count on everyone getting really thirsty and running out of water. And count on a bunch of crazy Arabs waving long swords chasing the stars of the film.

 

If it?s a Southern African safari film, count on the scorpion being replace by a giant snake, the Arabs will be replaced by a bunch of blacks shaking spears and chasing the whites, a lion or a tiger trying to get in the girl?s tent at night, and a big buffalo and zebra stampede that heads right for the Americans. Hippos and crocks will try to overturn their boat when they cross the river. Several native pack-bearers will be eaten by crocks and will fall off cliffs if the safari climbs a mountain. Half of the written dialog for the American girl will be screams.

 

If these films were made in the 1950s, the American actresses will have large breasts.

 

Message was edited by:

FredCDobbs

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Those I can think of now:

 

Broken-down horse/athlete meets a gruff old (often Irish) trainer/coach; both go on to win the big one, but not before a grave injury/illness that clears up by the race/game.

 

Angry young woman is arguing with young man, young man takes her and kisses her passionately, after repeating twice, young woman forgets arguing and goes into the final clinch--fade out, The End.

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Search for "things I learned from movies" on Google, and you'll find a bunch of these kinds of things:

 

- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

 

- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

 

- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

 

- A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

 

- One man shooting at twenty men has a better chance of killing them than twenty men firing at one man.

 

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

 

- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

 

- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

 

- If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.

 

- If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river -- or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

 

- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

 

- Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

 

- All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

 

- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

 

- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

 

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

 

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

 

- During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind the person and talk to the person's back.

 

- If you type a partial password on someone else's computer, the system will give you additional prompts that will enable you to guess the rest.

 

- The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

 

- Cats are spring-loaded and are most commonly found inside closets or cabinets that are equipped with doors that can't be operated by cats.

 

- A monster can always sneak up on you, no matter how big or clumsy it is.

 

- A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.

 

- A million dollars in cash or cocaine will invariably take up exactly the amount of space available in your briefcase.

 

- No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

 

DavidE

http://www.classicfilmpreview.com

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Great thread! Very funny stuff.

 

Some of my favorites:

 

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

 

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

 

Woman/girl running from the bad guy always seems to fall down.

 

There's always an abandoned building to take shelter for the night.

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Hilarious, David.

 

One more: dispatching the hero quickly, when he has the chance, is never good enough for a diabolical villain, whose ego compels him to goad and toy with the hero for as long as it takes for said hero to figure out a way to turn the tables on him.

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Here are some more good ones I found through Google:

 

- All single women have a cat.

 

- Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

 

- You?re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

 

- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

 

- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off ? even while scuba diving.

 

- All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.

 

- No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.

 

- Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.

 

- Any elevator will automatically go to your floor without pressing any buttons and take as long as your conversation to reach the right floor.

 

- There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.

 

- If staying in a haunted house, women will investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

 

- Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son?s birthday.

 

- Many musical instruments ? especially wind instruments and accordions ? can be played without moving your fingers.

 

- When paying for a taxi, don?t look at your wallet as you take out a bill ? just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

 

- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

 

- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

 

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

 

- 75% of all Americans live in either New York or Los Angeles. The remaining 25% that live outside those cities are violently racist ****, inbred hillbillies or separatist militants.

 

- The entire British population lives in London.

 

- All Australians live in the Outback.

 

- Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms? and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.

 

- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition ? even if you haven?t been carrying any before now.

 

- People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they?re usually dead within minutes.

 

- An electric fence that?s powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

 

- You can always rely on your car keys already being in the ignition when you get in the car, but if it?s an emergency, you won?t be able to find the keys anywhere.

 

- Close blood relatives usually look nothing like each other, or have only a passing resemblance.

 

- If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.

 

- No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.

 

DavidE

http://www.classicfilmpreview.com

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1. All mothers are middle-aged. Any young, attractive mother is either a war

widow or a femme fatale.

2. All single women are man-starved and want to get married.

3. All married couples sleep in twin beds.

4. Movie actors never go to the bathroom, except to comb their hair or shave.

5. In any fight, a single (very loud) punch is all that's needed to knock out

your opponent.

6. Horses never stray from the place where a cowboy leaves them when

they dismount, and a single toss of the reins over the hitching post will keep

them in place.

7. No handgun or rifle, whether used in a western or a crime drama, ever has any

recoil.

8. According to which studio the movie comes from, all gunshots sound alike.

9. Anyone may spontaneously burst into song, and there is always an orchestra

following them, and everyone else knows the words and the dance steps.

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Yeah, and not just squealing on dirt roads. Whenever someone is supposed to pull up in front of a house or into a driveway - "That must be him now" - there is a sound of brakes engaging as though a puppy just ran in front of the car.

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The Capitol can be seen from any window in Washington, D.C. (despite the fact that there are few residences located that close to it).

 

Your squadron or barracks will have a guy named Alabama in it, who plays a great bluesy harmonica and dispenses homespun wisdom. There will also be a short-tempered but essentially decent guy named Brooklyn who talks like Frank Sinatra (even though Sinatra was from Hoboken).

 

Aliens from outer space and people who existed in biblical times almost always have British accents. If there is one villain in a biblical story, he'll be the only one with a British accent.

 

If you wish to dance in Central Park, you will encounter no trash or leaves to impede your steps.

 

Even if you are shot several times and stumble into a swimming pool, there will be no evidence of blood.

 

As soon as the man you love seems unavailable for any reason, you'll turn to the nearest chap with any interest in you and marry him. (Yeah, that'll get your mind off the guy you truly love!)

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Nice thread. A valuable resource for Hollywood scriptwriters who are running out of idea's.

 

Criminal Masterminds in Spy movies must wear Nehru jackets.

 

When driving (or riding) in the country you must run over any chickens you encounter.

 

In movies sound will propagate through a vacuum.

 

A pump action shotgun will kill any kind of supernatural creature.

 

Regards

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  • 9 years later...
When good guys are being followed by bad guys...

 

The good guys can go in any direction at all without leaving a trace. The bad guys, having no clue which way they went, always seem to pick the same direction and wind up catching up to the good guys.

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