MetropoLESS!

[Stephan55]

1 hour ago, Dargo said:

(...word definitely got to us there was this one teacher if you ever got transferred over there to steer clear of Frank "Frog-Killer" Kowalski's class, alright)

Close, but no cigar.
Okay, I'll spill it (he's probably long gone by now anyway,...???)
Mr. Ralph Zwolzman (spell?)

He was not appreciated by most who attended his classes, as much as he'd like to think that he was.
He had a bad reputation and anyone unfortunate enough to have him for a teacher was offered condolence by his prior students. 
He was fond of making fun of peoples names.
There was this one kid whose last name was Finch, and Ralph told him that he kept finches at home in a cage. The kid sat next to me and said under his breath as he seated himself, "Yeah, I have some Zwolzman birds at home too, and I keep them in a cage."
Whenever someone "stepped out of line" Mr. Z reached for his paddle. He called it his "black beauty" because he had it wrapped in electrical tape. He said the tape improved his "swing."
He used to play tennis and would practice his "swings" on us in front of the class.
With each swat he'd loudly say "Whoop de dupe!"

I attended his class right after lunch, and he used to keep the door unlocked.
One day I arrived real early when he wasn't there, and I went in with a bottle of stink perfume that smelled like rotten eggs.
I quickly went around the classroom sprinkling odoriferous drops everywhere, with a few extra around his desk.
No one wanted to enter the classroom when he finally showed up. His class was cancelled for at least two periods that afternoon as the room aired out.
He was really  p  i  s  s  e d  that "someone" let off a "stink bomb" in his classroom and blamed the persons that he had most frequently razzed about that.
I felt a little guilty at the time, but not enough to fess up that it was me.
Only one other guy was in on that prank and he wouldn't tell as he was my look-out.

Most of us did really well in Mr. Z's class, with no one failing (I even received an "A") but practically all of our grades were illegitimate. And I proudly take credit for that!
Ralph was lazy, and whenever he gave us a test or pop quiz, he had us pass our papers to the person seated behind us to "grade" for him as he stood up front and read off the correct answers.
They were almost always multiple choice questions which made it pretty easy to cheat.
It began with a few of us seated at my end of the classroom. We used number #2 pencils for testing, red lead for grading. The "grader" would always change enough answers to correct ones with an eraser and his #2, so that the other guy would always pass, and frequently gain an additional grade as well.
Eventually the idea spread around the classroom and Mr. Z must have become suspicious that everyone began doing so well. He started collecting all of our tests and then indiscriminately pass them out throughout the room for grading.
I countered with the plan that everyone in the class would carry a set of the same colored pencils with erasers, so that no matter whose test one was handed, they would be able to make the necessary corrections, and up their grade. Everyone was in on it, and amazingly, throughout the entire semester, no one copped out.

At the end of the spring semester, the last day before summer vacation started, a couple of the girls made Mr. Z a "special" surprise.
We gathered up some fresh dog poop, and they mixed it into a batch of chocolate fudge.
The dilution was still mostly chocolate and sugar so it was hoped that it would pass his palate without being noticed.
The "fudge" was sliced into cubes and the girls left it on his desk in a ribbon laced box with an unsigned, stenciled "thank-you" note.
It must have tasted pretty good, as Mr. Z gratuitously munched upon them throughout the period.
By this time we knew him pretty well, and when a couple of us asked him to share, he stingily said that there was "not enough to go around," and it was "his gift from a select few of his students that truly appreciated him..."
So we stifled our laughter as we watched him greedily "uuummm" and "aahhh" in front of us.

We didn't stop to think at the time that we might have caused him any real harm with that stunt. And I wonder to this day if he ever became sick from it.
A couple of the dogs were pretty wormy, so who knows???

[Stephan55]

11 minutes ago, slaytonf said:

The only recorded instance I have encountered of this actually happening.  I considered it myth.

No myth. I observed it first hand.

11 minutes ago, slaytonf said:

Bytheway, isn't that Norman Bates as your avatar?

And the implication is???? 

[slaytonf]

4 hours ago, Stephan55 said:

 

And the implication is???? 

That the frogs--oh, um, well, nothing--I--ha, ha. . . .

[Dargo]

4 hours ago, Stephan55 said:

Close, but no cigar.
Okay, I'll spill it (he's probably long gone by now anyway,...???)
Mr. Ralph Zwolzman (spell?)

He was not appreciated by most who attended his classes..........

Great story, well told, Stephan.

And so like I was sayin' about you Aviation High students, we pure as the driven snow kids over at Gardena High would have NEVER had.......

(...well, you know...uh-huh, yeah sure)