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TomJH

NAME A SCREEN CHARACTER YOU'D LOVE TO PITCHFORK

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Not yet. But I will.

 

Somebody get me a pitchfork!

 

I select the 3 characters Dean played on the big screen.   I found all 3 to be pitchfork worthy.

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I select the 3 characters Dean played on the big screen.   I found all 3 to be pitchfork worthy.

 

Yeah, gotta admit there's some truth to that, James. Always kind'a felt, however, that IF the kid hadn't wrecked his little Porsche 550 Spyder up against Donald Turnupseed's Ford Sedan, he eventually would have learned to tone it down a notch or two.

 

(...but I guess we'll never know, will we)

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This guy in just about any film he was in . . .

 

Nutty_Prof_50th-4.jpg

 

But particularly as that obnoxious Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor

 

 

 

 

Okay, okay, now you know my little secret. I'm NOT a French film critic!

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The person who came up with this title (tonight's TCM)

 

Symbiopsychotaxiplasm :blink:

 

Sounds like a supernatural event where a taxi driver undergoing therapy for stress is turned into slime by an entity posing as a psychologist.

 

295FD34100000578-3112073-image-a-1_14334

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I'm not a fan of James Dean's self-hugging routine or Jerry's Look at

me, I'm a frigging genius shtick, but for me they fall a bit short of

being pitchforkable. But this dame. Yeah, she has helped generations

in her small town learn to be like all the past generations and has

been a mentor, blah, blah, blah. She started out well, but all those

years spent in that classroom turned her into something not quite human,

a lecturing machine without a brain or a heart. If a pitchfork was good

enough for the body snatching pods, it's good enough for this bitter

old bag. Good riddance, Miss Dove.

 

1401915311_1.png

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This creep (moderator won't allow a better word), Balem Abrasx  in "Jupiter Asending" (2015).  He has the personality of a chigger.  Hard to believe he could survived for over 14,405 years!  While at it pitchfork his mother.

 

48549416.cached.jpg

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Hmmm...so Tom. Question here:

 

Might this include people who make cameo appearances as themselves in a movie, too?!

 

You see, I ask this because just today I was informed by our mutual friend film lover 293 in another currently active thread that there was this REALLY awful movie made in 1990 titled "Ghosts Can't Do It", and so..............

 

(...okay, I better stop here before a representative from the Secret Service comes knockin' on my door)

 

Oh, you mean the guy who showed up in Home Alone 2, or Waldo's dad from the 90's "Little Rascals" movie?

 

(Found out from IMDb that I shared a birthday eighteen years apart, and I claim no other similarity whatsoever...Being of sound mind and skin tone.  We both, however, later learned that eyebrow trimmers exist.)

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Chiristmas Story's Scut Farkus.  Pitchfork him and his mom for giving that obnoxious brat such a crummy name.

 

maxresdefault.jpg

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I'm not a fan of James Dean's self-hugging routine or Jerry's Look at

me, I'm a frigging genius shtick, but for me they fall a bit short of

being pitchforkable. But this dame. Yeah, she has helped generations

in her small town learn to be like all the past generations and has

been a mentor, blah, blah, blah. She started out well, but all those

years spent in that classroom turned her into something not quite human,

a lecturing machine without a brain or a heart. If a pitchfork was good

enough for the body snatching pods, it's good enough for this bitter

old bag. Good riddance, Miss Dove.

 

1401915311_1.png

 

AH! Now Vautrin, YOUR little prim and proper AMERICAN school teacher who you'd like to pitchfork because her story is presented in such a saccharine manner, reminds me of ANOTHER little school teacher, but in THIS case one who taught her classes of little Scottish female pupils to spell certain words with that dumb British superfluous letter 'u'(of course), and a woman on whom I always wanted to do a little pitchfork action!

 

And, basically because HER little prim and proper act was just about as fake and phony as it comes. NOT to mention how damn pretentious the woman always acted around others.

 

Uh-huh, I'm talkin' about this character HERE...

250px-Maggiebrodie.jpg

 

(...although, I must also say I DO think Maggie here richly deserved her Oscar)

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That nun in PAPILLON who turns in Steve McQueen to the authorities so he can go back to that hellish prison for several more years of solitary deserves the 3-Prong Treatment.  

 

      Which, in turn, reminds me of an old joke: 

 

     Φ What's black and white and red and has trouble going through a revolving door? 

 

     τ  A nun with a spear through her head. 

     

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That nun in PAPILLON who turns in Steve McQueen to the authorities so he can go back to that hellish prison for several more years of solitary deserves the 3-Prong Treatment.  

 

      Which, in turn, reminds me of an old joke: 

 

     Φ What's black and white and red and has trouble going through a revolving door? 

 

     τ  A nun with a spear through her head. 

 

Hmmmmm...still after all this time nursin' that little grudge against the ruler-wielding Sister Mary Ellen, are ya Mr.G?! ;)

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Strother Martin in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is a special case of fork worthiness.

 

But I wouldn't give it to him immediately. I'd wait until after he whimpered and crawled on the floor like a whipped dog, his eyes bulging, sweat pouring down his face, uttering high pitched squeals for mercy. All of which, I'm sure, he'd do within the first ten seconds of my walking into the room with a pitchfork.

 

It would be about the time that he would offer to shoot anybody in the back for me, including his own mother, that I'd think the moment was right and I'd give him A FOUR PRONGED SPECIAL!!!!

 

strother-martin-libertyvalance-4.jpg

 

While we're at it, if I came across Strother's character from The Wild Bunch, particularly in one of those charming moments in which he was bending over while trying to pick out gold from some dead man's teeth, I'd give him the fork where it would do him the most good!

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Schoolmaster Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre. How dare he cut Elizabeth Taylor's curls off and make her and Peggy Ann Garner repent in the rain, causing the death of young Liz!

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Evelyn Harper in CAGED, but fortunately Kitty Stark did it for me, in a compact, much more painful version....

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I'd like to pitchfork this nasty character. Also because the character is played by an overrated actress in an overrated movie.

 

giphy.gif

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This thread goes back about a year and so the following character may already have been mentioned in it, but just in case it hasn't, I'd first grab the rubber hose from this guy, beat HIM a few times with it in order to see how HE likes it, and THEN apply a little pitchfork action to him...

 

hume-cronyn.jpg

 

(...this of course is Hume Cronyn as the sadistic prison warden in BRUTE FORCE)

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Mr and Mrs Grimes in "Sparrows" (1927) how they treated those poor kids in the movie. :angry:

 

Can see Mary Pickford share our thoughts.

 

Copy_of_Sparrows2%255B1%255D.jpg

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Mr and Mrs Grimes in "Sparrows" (1927) how they treated those poor kids in the movie. :angry:

 

Can see Mary Pickford share our thoughts.

 

Copy_of_Sparrows2%255B1%255D.jpg

you just read my mind before clicking on this thread. I didn't watch the end though.

 

I stopped watching when the kids wind up on the boat with the kidnappers.

 

I hope Grimes and that dam dog got ett by them alligators.

 

ditto for mrs. grimes and their rotten kid too. :angry:

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That nun in PAPILLON who turns in Steve McQueen to the authorities so he can go back to that hellish prison for several more years of solitary deserves the 3-Prong Treatment.  

 

      Which, in turn, reminds me of an old joke: 

 

     Φ What's black and white and red and has trouble going through a revolving door? 

 

     τ  A nun with a spear through her head. 

:lol:

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Jeffrey Hunter in The Searchers, for being so mean to his well-meaning Apache bride.

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Gladys Cooper in "Now, Voyager".

Gladys Cooper in "Song of Bernadette" (for the most part).

Gladys Cooper in "Separate Tables".

Gladys Cooper in "Mrs Parkington".

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Audrey Totter!

 

So overdone, overrated and overhyperbolic with those eyes that pop out continually like something from a Jim Carrey movie.
 

Sorry I got so excited at possibly getting to pitchfork her that I put a "y" in her name instead of a "u" which is now corrected.

 

I do ask "y" though often when I hear some extolling her immense virtues, based mostly on having her consent to being interviewed for some silliness.

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Aydrey Totter!

 

So overdone, overrated and overhyperbolic with those eyes that pop out continually like something from a Jim Carrey movie.

 

I looked at photos of Audrey Totter and the only one with 'eyes that pop out' is Lady In the Lake (she is also over hyperbolic in this film).

 

BUT that is because the entire film is shot from the viewpoint of the central character, Marlowe:   therefore much of the acting is hyperbolic due to the use of this technique.   

 

A noir dame that had 'eyes that pop out' is Marie Windsor  (but I find her sexy,   so I guess I have a thing for bug eyes).

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I looked at photos of Audrey Totter and the only one with 'eyes that pop out' is Lady In the Lake (she is also over hyperbolic in this film).

 

BUT that is because the entire film is shot from the viewpoint of the central character, Marlowe:   therefore much of the acting is hyperbolic due to the use of this technique.   

 

A noir dame that had 'eyes that pop out' is Marie Windsor  (but I find her sexy,   so I guess I have a thing for bug eyes).

James, is this photo more illustrative of her Hellzapoppin eyeballs?

 

http://www.learnaboutmovieposters.com/newsite/STILLS/T/TotterAudrey/images/AudreyTotter-22_jpg.jpg

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