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CaveGirl
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How often do you ask yourself “Am I watching too many movies?” Could it be that I’m a celluloid addict? Is it okay to base all life decisions on lessons learned from the MGM, Warners, RKO, Universal, Cinecitta or Gaumont studios?

To answer these burning [like a strip of hot nitrate] questions, one need only take the quick and easy 21 step quiz below, that I created in my spare time, when I was not watching, discussing or reading about movies. Feel free to substitute the names of actors or films which are more in your wheelhouse or specialty, in perusing the questions. Also if you have additional questions which you think would add to the revised edition for 2017, please submit them here.
 

Now, Number 2 Pencils up, answer all questions with a Yes or No, and begin!

1] When you read a glowing or crappy review of a new film, do you immediately make plans to see it?

 

2] If there is a video or dvd store you spot while driving somewhere else, do you make a beeline to check out its stock and always buy something?

 

3] Whenever you are trying to describe to the fuzz, a potential felon you spotted behaving like Jack Lambert or Ted de Corsia, do you use movie personage descriptions like “Well, Officer, he was as beady-eyed and shifty as Charles Middleton or Arthur Hunnicutt” or “She was as cheap looking a tart as Mary Beth Hughes or Veda Ann Borg and had brassy blonde locks.”

4] Have you ever challenged 20 or more people to a game of Trivial Pursuit:The Silver Screen Edition and won?

5] You find a thousand dollars on the Capri drive-in snack bar floor and instead of making your house payment you spend it on a poster from the original showing of the 1931 film of James Whale, “Frankenstein”?

 

6] You take a date to see the Bergman/Lynch Festival showing of “Persona” and “Eraserhead” and your date talks throughout the films. Later they say they found the films depressing. Do you tell them you never want to see them again in this lifetime?

 

7] Relatives drop in unexpectedly at your house while you are watching the newly discovered and digitally remastered Criterion edition of Lon Chaney’s “London After Midnight” and they ask you to change the channel to watch “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” reunion. Do you tell them to hit the bricks and never darken your door again or do allow this travesty?
 

8] You are at a revival showing of “The Buddy Holly Story” and they forgot to show it with the anamorphic lens which makes the people in the roller skating rink scene look 12 feet tall. Do you get up and angrily complain to the projectionist or just sit there like a bump on a log?

 

9] In a local newspaper there is an ad that a neighbor will be selling 100 of the finest films by Criterion for a buck apiece on the day you were to elope to Hazard, Kentucky with your beloved. Do you postpone the wedding to another day so you can be first in line at the garage sale?

 

10] There is a fire at your house. There’s time to either save your family photo album or your prized 8x10 autographed glossy photo collection of stars like Turhan Bey, Maria Montez, Alan Hale [both Senior AND Junior!], Whit Bissell and Franklin Pangborn. Do you go with the glossies or wimp out for sentimental reasons?

11] You’re travelling cross country and Monument Valley is way out of the way. You go anyway?

12] You take a film course and realize that your professor is a sham not being able to tell the difference between Doris Dowling and Gloria Holden or even Patricia Morison and Gale Sondergaard. You report them to the administration and stage a protest to deny them tenure.

 

13] You own the unreleased soundtrack with alternate takes for music for “Thunder Road” plus an autographed copy of the Robert Mitchum album with him singing calypso tunes. You were offered three-thousand smackeroos for it, which will pay for your long delayed dental crown. Do you take it?
 

14] You get a new puppy and your significant other wants to name him Rover, but you insist that his name should be Sidney Falco or at least Mrs. Danvers [in case he is transgender]. Do you win?

 

15] You’re on your deathbed. The attending nurse asks if you have any last words. You debate as to whether saying “Klaatu, barada nikto” or “Death is hard, but comedy is harder” would be more appropriate than saying “I’m sorry I was so whiny while dying”?

 

16] A trip to the grocery is not complete without buying some Little Debbie’s Snack Cakes since you think they support the John Ford Film Foundation which is rereleasing “The Searchers” in high-definition?

17] As a Hitchcock fan and purist, you refuse to see “Dial M for Murder” until you can see it in its original 3-D form? You feel the same way about “House of Wax”?
 

18] Michael Powell’s “Peeping Tom” is you favorite film. You find it unforgivable that anyone not know that Karl Boehm’s real name is Karlheinz Bohm and that Anna Massey is Raymond’s daughter?

19] The students at Jim Stark’s Dawson High School in “RWAC” seem to have only one major course of study. If you know it was astronomy and not knife-play or chickie runs, say yes!

20] On the sixth viewing of Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 from Outer Space” you noticed that they used the same chairs for the indoor and outdoor scenes, that the tombstones are cardboard and they’ve used a shower curtain in the cockpit scene plus you’ve written a thesis on what constituted the previous eight plans from outer space that were abandoned. Give yourself two Yeses, if your answers were affirmative.

 

21] When invited to attend the Bud Cort Film Festival with all expenses paid at Radio City Music Hall, you only have to answer one question. Name his three most famous films. Did you say “Harold and Maude”, “MASH” and “Brewster McCloud”?


Scoring: Count up your YES answers!

 

1-3  You might be normal as a human being with average movie yearnings.

4-6  A chronic film condition is progressing. Keep an eye on it for now.
7-9  Movies have now become a gateway drug. Institute rehab recovery plans asap!

10-12 As a seasoned movie buff you are past the point of no return. Take two Excedrin, call a shrink and sell your tv or monitor before it’s too late.

13-15  It’s now too late!
16-18  The darkness is overcoming you and noir hallucinations are beginning. You see Anne Shirley and you're not in Kansas or even Green Gables anymore.

19-22 It’s finally over and you may consider yourself a cinema junkie, a movie nutjob, a bonafide film fan and  certifiable. Your only joy in life is watching the color sequence with the red blood in the sink, from “The Tingler” with Vincent Price but that is okay by you.

 

Please post your scores here, unless you are being held in a strait jacket or similarly indisposed. Thank you for participating!

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1.  It depends on the critic.  The Detroit News has one named Susan Stark who seems to have an inordinant jones for foreign films.  Regardless of how good or bad it its, she always glows on 'em.

 

2. The last store of that kind around here closed up three years ago.  But, when it was still going, only when I went in to rent something, I'd then check out their table where they place all the old stock for sale to see what was there.

 

3.  Never had the opportunity.

 

4.  Never played it that much, but will often point out some trivial tidbit to my wife when we're watching some movie and I see something I wish to point out.  She's never really interested that much though.

 

5.  Haven't been to a drive-in for years, there's only one in the Detroit area, it has four screens, and doesn't play anything I'd wish to see anyway.

 

6.  The last "date" I ever took to a movie is the woman I'm married to now, and we both enjoyed the movie. However, if I were single and dating, the answer would likely depend on her bedroom predilictions, and her bra size.

 

7.  Thankfully, I don't have any friends or family members who'd do that.

 

8.  Since I've only seen the movie on TV, I wouldn't know the difference, so really wouldn't care.

 

9.  The only garage sales on my street usually just have old broken appliances or wrinkled baby clothes for sale.  And not meaning offense to any Kentukians on the forum,  For personal reasons, Kenucky is a state I wish to have nothing to do with.

 

10.  ME?  I'd save my wife first, then my guitars, and see if I can get back for my sound equipment.  Not being really big on those people anyway, I'd let 'em burn!

 

11.  Monument Valley would be the destiation for which a trip like that by me would be made.

 

12.  I'd ask him for an "A" or I'll report him.

 

13.  As a GM retiree, I have excellent dental coverage, so the recording is safe.

 

14.  What type of dog?  A large dog I might name "Pacino" because of DOG DAY AFTERNOON, "Satch" if he has that look, a small dog I might name "Andy", like in ANDY HARDY.

 

15.  If I knew the end was in seconds, I'd find it hard, despite the circumstance, to resist muttering "Rosebud".

 

16.  Make it HOSTESS and you got a deal!

 

17.  Never saw either that way to begin with, so it doesn't matter much to me.

 

18.No.

 

19.  ???

 

20.  I'm WAY past the sixth viewing.

 

21Sure.  They're the ONLY three I know.

 

Sorry for not answering strictly "yes" or "no".  Just wasn't possible in my case.

 

Sepiatone

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1.  It depends on the critic.  The Detroit News has one named Susan Stark who seems to have an inordinant jones for foreign films.  Regardless of how good or bad it its, she always glows on 'em.

 

2. The last store of that kind around here closed up three years ago.  But, when it was still going, only when I went in to rent something, I'd then check out their table where they place all the old stock for sale to see what was there.

 

3.  Never had the opportunity.

 

4.  Never played it that much, but will often point out some trivial tidbit to my wife when we're watching some movie and I see something I wish to point out.  She's never really interested that much though.

 

5.  Haven't been to a drive-in for years, there's only one in the Detroit area, it has four screens, and doesn't play anything I'd wish to see anyway.

 

6.  The last "date" I ever took to a movie is the woman I'm married to now, and we both enjoyed the movie. However, if I were single and dating, the answer would likely depend on her bedroom predilictions, and her bra size.

 

7.  Thankfully, I don't have any friends or family members who'd do that.

 

8.  Since I've only seen the movie on TV, I wouldn't know the difference, so really wouldn't care.

 

9.  The only garage sales on my street usually just have old broken appliances or wrinkled baby clothes for sale.  And not meaning offense to any Kentukians on the forum,  For personal reasons, Kenucky is a state I wish to have nothing to do with.

 

10.  ME?  I'd save my wife first, then my guitars, and see if I can get back for my sound equipment.  Not being really big on those people anyway, I'd let 'em burn!

 

11.  Monument Valley would be the destiation for which a trip like that by me would be made.

 

12.  I'd ask him for an "A" or I'll report him.

 

13.  As a GM retiree, I have excellent dental coverage, so the recording is safe.

 

14.  What type of dog?  A large dog I might name "Pacino" because of DOG DAY AFTERNOON, "Satch" if he has that look, a small dog I might name "Andy", like in ANDY HARDY.

 

15.  If I knew the end was in seconds, I'd find it hard, despite the circumstance, to resist muttering "Rosebud".

 

16.  Make it HOSTESS and you got a deal!

 

17.  Never saw either that way to begin with, so it doesn't matter much to me.

 

18.No.

 

19.  ???

 

20.  I'm WAY past the sixth viewing.

 

21Sure.  They're the ONLY three I know.

 

Sorry for not answering strictly "yes" or "no".  Just wasn't possible in my case.

 

Sepiatone

Hey, Sepia, film scholar that you are, I was excited about starting to grade your paper and then was stopped in my tracks by this response of yours to Question #6:

 

"6.  The last "date" I ever took to a movie is the woman I'm married to now, and we both enjoyed the movie. However, if I were single and dating, the answer would likely depend on her bedroom predilictions, and her bra size."

 

As I noted before, the men at the TCM Message Board are very broadminded and thank you for proving my point.

 

Since I now have to leave the classroom, and due to your obvious qualifications I shall put you in charge of the class and the grading. Don't grade on the curve, unless you see dangerous ones ahead!

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Uh oh, CF!

 

Well as long as you don't start watching "Vertigo" and writing down the other car licenses while Scotty is trailing Madeleine like someone I know does, you may recover.

License plate numbers are an important plot point in the Bryan Forbes movie The League of Gentlemen (not to be confused with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen).

 

I spotted a continuity goof in Eyes Without a Face, in which the license plates switch back and forth between the professor's two cars.

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How often do you ask yourself “Am I watching too many movies?” Could it be that I’m a celluloid addict? Is it okay to base all life decisions on lessons learned from the MGM, Warners, RKO, Universal, Cinecitta or Gaumont studios?

To answer these burning [like a strip of hot nitrate] questions, one need only take the quick and easy 21 step quiz below, that I created in my spare time, when I was not watching, discussing or reading about movies. Feel free to substitute the names of actors or films which are more in your wheelhouse or specialty, in perusing the questions. Also if you have additional questions which you think would add to the revised edition for 2017, please submit them here.

 

Now, Number 2 Pencils up, answer all questions with a Yes or No, and begin!

 

1] When you read a glowing or crappy review of a new film, do you immediately make plans to see it?

 

2] If there is a video or dvd store you spot while driving somewhere else, do you make a beeline to check out its stock and always buy something?

 

3] Whenever you are trying to describe to the fuzz, a potential felon you spotted behaving like Jack Lambert or Ted de Corsia, do you use movie personage descriptions like “Well, Officer, he was as beady-eyed and shifty as Charles Middleton or Arthur Hunnicutt” or “She was as cheap looking a tart as Mary Beth Hughes or Veda Ann Borg and had brassy blonde locks.”

 

4] Have you ever challenged 20 or more people to a game of Trivial Pursuit:The Silver Screen Edition and won?

 

5] You find a thousand dollars on the Capri drive-in snack bar floor and instead of making your house payment you spend it on a poster from the original showing of the 1931 film of James Whale, “Frankenstein”?

 

6] You take a date to see the Bergman/Lynch Festival showing of “Persona” and “Eraserhead” and your date talks throughout the films. Later they say they found the films depressing. Do you tell them you never want to see them again in this lifetime?

 

7] Relatives drop in unexpectedly at your house while you are watching the newly discovered and digitally remastered Criterion edition of Lon Chaney’s “London After Midnight” and they ask you to change the channel to watch “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” reunion. Do you tell them to hit the bricks and never darken your door again or do allow this travesty?

 

8] You are at a revival showing of “The Buddy Holly Story” and they forgot to show it with the anamorphic lens which makes the people in the roller skating rink scene look 12 feet tall. Do you get up and angrily complain to the projectionist or just sit there like a bump on a log?

 

9] In a local newspaper there is an ad that a neighbor will be selling 100 of the finest films by Criterion for a buck apiece on the day you were to elope to Hazard, Kentucky with your beloved. Do you postpone the wedding to another day so you can be first in line at the garage sale?

 

10] There is a fire at your house. There’s time to either save your family photo album or your prized 8x10 autographed glossy photo collection of stars like Turhan Bey, Maria Montez, Alan Hale [both Senior AND Junior!], Whit Bissell and Franklin Pangborn. Do you go with the glossies or wimp out for sentimental reasons?

 

11] You’re travelling cross country and Monument Valley is way out of the way. You go anyway?

 

12] You take a film course and realize that your professor is a sham not being able to tell the difference between Doris Dowling and Gloria Holden or even Patricia Morison and Gale Sondergaard. You report them to the administration and stage a protest to deny them tenure.

 

13] You own the unreleased soundtrack with alternate takes for music for “Thunder Road” plus an autographed copy of the Robert Mitchum album with him singing calypso tunes. You were offered three-thousand smackeroos for it, which will pay for your long delayed dental crown. Do you take it?

 

14] You get a new puppy and your significant other wants to name him Rover, but you insist that his name should be Sidney Falco or at least Mrs. Danvers [in case he is transgender]. Do you win?

 

15] You’re on your deathbed. The attending nurse asks if you have any last words. You debate as to whether saying “Klaatu, barada nikto” or “Death is hard, but comedy is harder” would be more appropriate than saying “I’m sorry I was so whiny while dying”?

 

16] A trip to the grocery is not complete without buying some Little Debbie’s Snack Cakes since you think they support the John Ford Film Foundation which is rereleasing “The Searchers” in high-definition?

 

17] As a Hitchcock fan and purist, you refuse to see “Dial M for Murder” until you can see it in its original 3-D form? You feel the same way about “House of Wax”?

 

18] Michael Powell’s “Peeping Tom” is you favorite film. You find it unforgivable that anyone not know that Karl Boehm’s real name is Karlheinz Bohm and that Anna Massey is Raymond’s daughter?

 

19] The students at Jim Stark’s Dawson High School in “RWAC” seem to have only one major course of study. If you know it was astronomy and not knife-play or chickie runs, say yes!

 

20] On the sixth viewing of Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 from Outer Space” you noticed that they used the same chairs for the indoor and outdoor scenes, that the tombstones are cardboard and they’ve used a shower curtain in the cockpit scene plus you’ve written a thesis on what constituted the previous eight plans from outer space that were abandoned. Give yourself two Yeses, if your answers were affirmative.

 

21] When invited to attend the Bud Cort Film Festival with all expenses paid at Radio City Music Hall, you only have to answer one question. Name his three most famous films. Did you say “Harold and Maude”, “MASH” and “Brewster McCloud”?

 

 

Scoring: Count up your YES answers!

 

1-3  You might be normal as a human being with average movie yearnings.

4-6  A chronic film condition is progressing. Keep an eye on it for now.

7-9  Movies have now become a gateway drug. Institute rehab recovery plans asap!

10-12 As a seasoned movie buff you are past the point of no return. Take two Excedrin, call a shrink and sell your tv or monitor before it’s too late.

13-15  It’s now too late!

16-18  The darkness is overcoming you and noir hallucinations are beginning. You see Anne Shirley and you're not in Kansas or even Green Gables anymore.

19-22 It’s finally over and you may consider yourself a cinema junkie, a movie nutjob, a bonafide film fan and  certifiable. Your only joy in life is watching the color sequence with the red blood in the sink, from “The Tingler” with Vincent Price but that is okay by you.

 

Please post your scores here, unless you are being held in a strait jacket or similarly indisposed. Thank you for participating!

Come up with a much shorter test, and get back to me. My concentration span is as short as my posts.

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License plate numbers are an important plot point in the Bryan Forbes movie The League of Gentlemen (not to be confused with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen).

 

I spotted a continuity goof in Eyes Without a Face, in which the license plates switch back and forth between the professor's two cars.

Wow, now you are the type of movie fan that I like to be friends with, Fedya.

 

You would not make fun of me for noticing that the lamp in the film "Dark Passage" with Bogie and Bacall is from the Moss catalog, stock # 2401 and came out in 1946 and is made of plexiglass. The floor one, with the black plastic running up and down the main stem, like a ribbon. Finally, I am not alone in my quest for movie trivia!

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Come up with a much shorter test, and get back to me. My concentration span is as short as my posts.

Okay, answer yes or no to the following, Down:

 

You refuse to watch the colorized version of "It's a Wonderful Life".

 

If the answer is yes, you are a true movie buff.

 

If no, get out of my sight!

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Okay, answer yes or no to the following, Down:

 

You refuse to watch the colorized version of "It's a Wonderful Life".

 

If the answer is yes, you are a true movie buff.

 

If no, get out of my sight!

The question is irrelevant to me, because I have a black and white TV. I got it  on sale for $2.99.

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The question is irrelevant to me, because I have a black and white TV. I got it  on sale for $2.99.

Is it a Philco and do you get the Dumont Network on it, Down?

 

If so I'm coming over tonight. Have some snacks ready!

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